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Jacqueline asked:
How do you know you are ready for a second one?

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oink17 answered:
Good question... something I have been asking my husband, are we ready for number 2 (that's before we have our number 2). Alot of things I'm worried about - money, time, mental and physical. My husband just told me - money (just have to save money and spend less), time (have to squeeze more out of 24 hours), physical (better have number 2 if we want to have it now as we are not young anymore - later no energy to chase after the kids) and mental (only go for number 2 if we really want to have number 2). The ultimate push to have number 2 is when we saw how lonely our number 1 is. No one to play with him when he is at home. He keeps on asking us to play with him, we did but we cannot always do that as we need to do housework and sometimes our work at home. Hence we feel that it is time to have number 2, so that he has someone to play with, and someone he can take care of.

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Winnie Yap answered:
I'm not ready when I had my 2nd one. But I thought an ideal age gap would be 3 years old as your elder one can articulate well enough and the difference in age wouldnt be too big. My elder is 2 years older than my newborn baby and I have to really keep an eye on her as she may often accidentally 'hurt' her brother unknowingly. lucky for me, she dotes on her brother and does not show any signs of jealousy.

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Jacqueline answered:
My hubby & I decided not to have another. We just feel that we can't cope in terms of financial & time. Looking after 1 is already physically draining let alone another.

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Gurpreet answered:
it will just be totally on you both as lot of things matter . it is not just adding another number in your family , a lot of things are there time, money , yr age , health, external help as you hv maid or yr in- laws or parents to tk cae of, the age gap between the kids. some prefer to hv kids sooner as they find it easy to grow them up as there is more bonding between the siblings. but sometimes it takes us alot of time to prepare ourself back to square one from where we started again as for our first one we are all prepared to do anything, adjust our lifes, time , things as we are first time parents & we hv a new experience. so it would be you to tk the decision are u prepared to start allover again, go through the same routine and even i personally think we sh hv atleast two kids as they also need company & what they can share with each other they cant share it with us . so dont delay hv yr second one soon . good luck

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Jacqueline answered:
oink17 - How did your #1 react? We have the same worries too..My hubby wants a # 2 but is worried about the financial aspect..and he hopes to have a girl which is not a guarantee.. May I know what are the difficulties you had when pregnant with #2 and after you deliver?

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Jacqueline answered:
There are a lot of doubts and fears when I am thinking if I should have a 2nd one. Financial is definitely 1 of them, another fear is if my boy can accept his sibling. I hear a lot of stories on sibling rivarly which frreaks me out. I do hear stories of how mummies prepare the older sibling for a new family addtion but I just do not have much confidence. Time is another factor to consider. Being a stay-at-home mum is just not possible for us.I only have weekday nights (if i do not have to OT) and weekends. I am already finding it hard to squeeze time out to have some 2-some time with hubby, let alone when another comes along.

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Florencia answered:
In theory, I thought we were ready when our elder one was a bit more dependent and allowed himself to be taken care of by daddy, grandparents and maid, apart from mommy all the time. I'd have stopped breastfeeding my elder one before 2nd one coming. Then if you're working, once you settled back again in office after coming back from maternity leave, achieve some meaningful work. Possibly we were targeting that we wanted to wait until at least our elder son was 2.5 year-old. Well.... but having prepared all those, it seems like plans can be plans, but there's no way you can be 100% ready for the next baby. I haven't completely stopped BF when I found out I was pregnant again. My elder son was alright with other caregivers before I was pregnant, but when tummy started to show, he wanted to be carried only by me all the time (imagine big tummy, but carry 1 year-old to sleep!), he already showed signs of potty training but refused at my 4th month of pregnancy..... So, just brace yourself for another level of adventure! =)

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Jovial answered:
For me, im planning my 2nd one when i get my new flat early next year. And also my girl will be 4r old by the time i give birth to my 2nd kid. Age gap about 3-4yrs should be alright. :) Also, you have to plan ur financial as you have to support 2 kids instead of one. I will place my baby in a recommended infant care, i placed my1st kid in infant care since she is 7months old so same goes to my 2nd kid. Most imptly, you must have your hubby care & support. :)

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