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Sonia asked:
Can I help my daughter feel better about being a big sister?



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Michelle Ang answered:
Usually before the arrival of the 2nd baby, the elder one may often becomes aggressive. Otherwise, she may even start to act more like a baby, wanting your attention more. For eg, she may start to ask for milk bottle again or asking you to feed her. This is called regression. It is very important for you to prepare her for the arrival of the baby so that negative feelings don’t get developed further. Here are some tips: a) Right from the day you know about your pregnancy, share the news with your daughter b) Talk to her on what to expect when baby arrives, ie: baby will take up lots of your time like breastfeeding c) It is also a good idea to involve her in name choosing & little chores to take care of the baby d) Get her to choose baby’s outfit to be worn upon discharge from hospital e) Take out your daughter’s photos when she was a baby and show it to her. Share to her how it was like when she herself was a baby f) Get her to make a small card for her sibling to welcome her into the family and place the card in a visible place like near the cot g) Despite the fact that you’d be busy with the baby, never ever neglect your daughter. Give her some time when baby has fallen asleep. Talk to her, play with her. Most importantly, I realised from my experience that not breaking certain routine is very crucial. For eg, if you have been reading her bedtime stories, continue to do it. This will tell her that things have not changed though there’s now a new member to the family.


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April answered:
Like Florencia mentioned, the best way is to get your daughter involved in helping you with the baby. Tell her that she is a big sister and should shower love to baby and mummy, daddy and baby loves her. It is important as she will feel that her stays at home is not threaten and baby does not mean mum n dad love her lesser. Praise her when she helps you or share things with baby. Get her to choose a gift for baby and buy a gift for her and tell her it is from baby.


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Jovial answered:
Yes, u can. U can ask ur daughter to help to get diaper or powder for u. Also tell her, she is a big girl and not a baby, they will understand. I alys tell my girl that. U can also ask ur girl to look after ur youngest kid. Like asking ur daughter to keep an eye on the baby while u walked away to get something nearby (both children must be in ur sight). Or ask ur daughter to feed baby with milk. By doing all these, i guess ur daughter will feel like a big sister (jiejie). :)


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Florencia answered:
You can ask your daughter to find a name for your baby... or being mommy's assistant when baby is born. I always ask my elder son to get his baby brother's diapers, cream, lotion whenever we need to change baby. Also, whenever I choose a clothes for going out for baby, I ask my son's opinion which clothes look good on his brother. So far he enjoys his responsibility of being the elder brother as he even address himself as koh koh... =) good luck.

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